Does watching adult content affect the sex you have with your partner?

The impact is highly dependent on context

Now, there's no shame in watching porn, if anything, it can help you explore your desires and become more sexually connected with yourself or even with your partner.

However, the accessibility and personalisation of adult content does make us wonder what kind of effect watching pornography can have on our own real-life sexual relationships.

Like many things in life, consuming anything in excess can often lead to negative outcomes.

So what happens when you or your partner regularly watches porn? Does it affect the sexual relationship you have with your partner? Is there such a thing as watching too much porn?

We turned to Sex & Intimacy Educator Grace Alice to answer our questions on the topic.

Porn can sometimes become a positive tool

To start us off, Sex & Intimacy Educator Grace Alice points towards the importance of context.

"It’s very possible that watching porn can affect the sex you have with your partner, but this impact is highly dependent on context.

"For some people, consuming porn or erotica is occasional and doesn’t feel compulsive; they know it isn’t realistic and don’t use it to judge or measure their real-life sexual experiences."

She goes on to explain that if you or your partner watches porn, this doesn't necessarily have to have a negative impact on your own sex life, if anything, it could actually bring about some benefits and help spice things up in the bedroom.

"Porn can sometimes even become a positive tool; some couples choose to watch together and use those experiences to explore desires or communicate what excites them, as long as it feels comfortable and doesn’t create pressure or feelings of inadequacy," Grace Alice explained.

However, she quickly warns about the risks associated with adult content, emphasising the potential for developing an unhealthy dependency and the misconseption that real-life sex should look or sound like what is depicted on screen.

She said: "This can lead to unrealistic expectations concerning bodies, sexual performance, or specific acts, which can contribute to pressure, dissatisfaction, and a negative impact on the couple’s sexual life.

"This is probably more relevant to people who aren't in long-term/committed relationships," she adds.

The problematic normalisation of aggression towards women

Grace Alice continued to point out that she has noticed a worrying increase in women telling her about their experiences with aggression during what should've been more "casual" sex.

She went on to say that clients of hers will open up about hurtful acts such as "choking" and slapping during sex that weren't discussed or agreed to beforehand.

Grace Alice thinks the normalisation of aggression towards women in porn could be contributing to this.

A veteran adult content creator once explained in a documentary that during the 1990s, pornography often focused on "making love on a bed" and portrayed mostly "lovey-dovey sex."

However, a 2010 analysis of more than 300 porn scenes found that roughly 90% included some form of physical aggression, with men being the primary aggressors. Women, often the targets of this aggression, most commonly reacted by displaying pleasure or responding as if the behaviour were natural.

Since then, pornography has only continued to grow increasingly violent.

This is why Grace Alice emphasises the need for open, honest communication in sexual relationships, stressing that both partners should feel safe, respected, and able to enjoy sex together.

"Every couple is different, and it really comes down to individual relationships with porn, how it's being used, and the ability to communicate openly and honestly.

"If porn use leads to positive conversations and mutual exploration, it can be healthy. If it causes pressure, discomfort, or detachment from real-life intimacy, that’s something to address with each other and perhaps a professional," she concluded.