"It's hard to trust people when the person you depend on the most let you down."
The second series of Finné returns tonight with its first episode seeing Sophia Murphy share her story of sexual abuse endured by her father from as young as the age of three or four, and now, how she came to terms with his conviction in 2018.
While both disturbing and utterly heartbreaking to hear what Sophia (and her sisters) went through, it's also a story of heroism and of triumph over adversity.
Sophia tells how she faced her fears head-on and how she found the courage within herself to speak out, knowing she might not be believed and that she might also lose her dad (who she loved as a father, yet she despised him for what he had done).
Her first ever memory of being abused was around the age of three or four, at the back of a bus in Galway, where the family lived. Sophia says:
"I knew it was wrong because I was more worried they'd see him, I wasn't even thinking about what he was doing to me, so in my head, it's obvious that that wasn't the first time.
"That was my first memory. I was an adult before I was a child."
After years of being abused verbally, physically and sexually, Sophia says:
"I was never very good at expressing myself because there was no one else to speak to." She went through years of "torturing" herself, engaging in self-harm and feeling entirely lost.
"It was like I wanted the pain I was suffering on the inside to show on the outside.
"You get lost in a horrible world in your own head."
Her story is one of profound bravery and one that will move you to tears. Having waived her right to anonymity after her father's conviction, Sophia wants other victims of abuse to know that the shame they feel keeps the abuser safe and that people who are abused are not to blame.
"That's what I wanted out of it, for people to realise that you're not doing anything wrong, you're the victim and they [the abuser] take advantage of that, they take your innocence, your voice — they take everything away from you, and they know they're doing that."
Finné's first series won this year's Human Rights prize at the Justice Media Awards and we've plenty of reason to believe this season's six-part docu-series will be as shocking, gut-wrenching and enlightening as the last.
Watch Finné on Wednesday nights, 9.30pm on TG4. You can also catch up on the TG4 Player and view from anywhere around the world right here.Brought to you by TG4
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