Why, oh why did these come back into fashion can someone please tell me?

Back when I was 11 and forced to wear pedal pushers (as they were once called), I was like "yeah cool mom", and I would theme them with some sandals and a t-shirt, probably stained, as I skipped off to meet my mates and play catch. But now, I am 24-years-old, a lot less slender than my 11-year-old physique (obvs) and these shorts in both a LYCRA and DENIM material have bounced back into fashion and I'm petrified. Everyone from the Kardashians to Emily Ratakowski and even Vogue magazine is giving these shorts the thumbs up and it's stressing me out because they suit 0.321 percent of the population and let me tell you why.

1. They cut you off just ABOVE the knee

Just above the knee has to be the most unflattering place ever for a tight jean to stop. I mean, it is the centre of the leg and makes you feel like the Hulk. 

whatever the problem is, bermuda shorts are not the answer

— jon✨ (@JLazeroff) May 9, 2018

2. They smush your knees and give them faces

These jeans are tight causing your knees to squish and look weird and it's honestly not a good look.

3. All the stars wear them with heels, like WTF?

Hollywood is setting us up for failure, you KNOW we can't copy this. If I had to get off Dublin Bus and walk to work in stilettos and cycling shorts I'd be running to the Compeed patches for some SOS.

4. The styles are like falling between a rock and a hard place

Jean shorts are severely uncomfortable and then thin lycra shorts show off every lump and bump and TBH I don't feel comfortable waking in daylight knowing my bum is barely hiding in a tinted tight.

5. What do you wear on top?

A crop top would make me feel like a wrapped ham and then an oversized jumper would look like I honestly woke up at 8:50am, we're not all Yeezy, this is stressful.

6. The "ripped Bermuda short" needs a bonfire ceremony

Ah ye, they look good on the model there... sure why don't I just purchase them? Add a few NATURAL RIPS MYSELF EH? YE, YE, YE. I honestly fear that any more words could lose me both my job and dignity so I'll end with this, Bermuda shorts look stun on some - if you can pull them off then YAS, slay kween. But if you can't and you're stressing that you don't look like Kourt Kardash, fear not hun, these are not the be all and end all.