What's a German's favourite TV show? The Wurst Witch.

The Worst Witch was easily the most infuriating television programme I watched during my childhood. Like a mug, I'd keep going back to it in the hopes that things would improve, but I ended up disappointed every single time. There was a number of infuriating factors that have led me to the conclusion that The Worst Witch was the absolute worst, which I will now happily detail below.

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1. They all had God awful hairstyles Seriously, the ponytail plait was never 'in', nor will it ever be. Mildred was ne'er seen without her incredibly offensive pigtail plaits, alongside her even more tragic companion Maud's regular pigtails, with an accompanying fringe. The hairstylist on set should've been sacked. Also, if they were supposed to be genuine witches, why couldn't they magic together a decent curly blow dry between them? Sake.   2. The special effects were piss poor It appears there was no budget for this bedraggled show whatsoever because if you thought the hairstyles were bad, step back and make some space for the worst special effects you have ever seen. It makes sense that the Harry Potter movies were so well received because the bar was set so low, it was still in its package with an Argos catalogue number handwritten on the outside.   3. The acting capabilities were questionable at best Not to shit all over these children who were obviously just doing their best, but some of them were absolute garbage, particularly the extras in the background. Even the older cast appeared to have sailed into production without a sniff of an audition requested. It's a large shame Miss Hardbroom's acting wasn't as tight as her bun, nor as believable as her furious eye twitch.   4. Mildred was an absolute dose Call me old fashioned, but I believe that the main character needs to be somewhat likeable in order for a show to succeed. Bizarrely, Mildred Hubble was the most insufferable drip of a character ever to be written. She was dopey, lazy and incredibly stupid. As a viewer, you genuinely wanted to see her get in trouble and land herself in the chokey for 24 hours (wrong show, I know). Seriously Mildred, smarten up.   5. It ruined Felicity Jones on us all Yes, that's where you know her from. Felicity Jones played the vital role of Mildred's arch enemy, Ethel Hallow. She was a snooty little madam who was determined to land goofy Mildred and her nerdy friend Maud in trouble at every opportunity. As a result, I cannot see past that character in every movie that Felicity has since appeared in. The Theory Of Everything was marred by her bullying past and I couldn't believe Stephen Hawking actually fell for it.      

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Still images via United Productions