Don't be afraid to include them in your day.

Christmas is a time to be happy, to celebrate and to see family and friends you haven't seen in a while. This is probably why grief hits you even harder during the festive season. If you've ever lost someone close to you, you'll understand what I mean. It's hard to be happy when know there is an empty seat at the table, it's hard to celebrate when you're not picking someone up from the airport or when the person who usually cuts the turkey isn't there. It might be because some of our most vivid memories are from Christmas, so you remember clearly what it was like on Christmas morning to have them there. Nothing will ever make losing someone okay, which is why this is about making it a 'little' easier around Christmas, rather than 'much better'. The number one rule for me personally is: Don't be afraid to include them. I'm not a grief counsellor, a doctor or an expert, but I have felt the ups and downs of grief for almost nine Christmases, so I'm hoping I can be of some help. Here are 5 things you can do over Christmas to make it a little easier. Hang a special decoration on your tree. Whether you lost someone you consider your angel, or someone who was your shining star, there is definitely a decoration out there that you can hang on your tree as a nod to the person you've lost. It may sound cheesy but having a decoration you can associate with them every Christmas can help you to start a new tradition now that you may have lost some. Whether it's a decoration they always loved or a new one you buy with their name on it, having a 'dad decoration' or a 'mam angel' can give you some comfort. Buy a gift for them. Just because they are no longer with you in person does not mean you need to stop celebrating their life. Whether that's a present you can leave in their room or something special for their grave, giving them a present can help to acknowledge that you are still thinking about them. Buy a gift 'from' them. If the person who passed away would have always gotten you a present, don't be afraid to treat yourself on behalf of them. If they always bought you slippers, get yourself some slippers, if they always bought your vouchers, get yourself a massage. You deserve to treat yourself during such a tough time of the year and you know that they would want you too. Make a donation in their name.  Christmas is a time for giving and if there was a cause you know they cared about, donate in their name. If you lost a loved one to a specific illness, donate to a charity which helps them to find a cure or which helps other people going through it. This way, you're doing something good in their name and you're also helping fight something that affected you and your family. Write them a letter/Christmas card.  It's the time of year that more letters and cards are written that any other, so why not write to them about how you're feeling. It gives you a chance to put all your feelings down on paper and really focus on the person you've lost. Writing down the things that are hardest about them being gone can help you to figure out the best way to deal with their loss over Christmas. If you have Children who are writing a letter to Santa, encourage them to write one to the person they've lost too. Include them in your day.  Toast to them, mention them, cook something they loved and talk about Christmas memories. It is important to accept the grief rather than ignoring it. Pretending you're not grieving won't help the situation and could leave you feeling more alone. However, in the same sense, don't feel a pressure to constantly talk about them or include them. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you go through Christmas in whatever way makes it easier. There is no way to grieve properly and doing that in whatever way you see fit will make it easier for you. The Irish Hospice Foundation has put together a list of practical advice for dealing with grief over Christmas which you can check out here.