What is breadcrumbing in relationships and how to spot it?

Breadcrumbing isn't just the delicious coating on the outside of a chicken burger

If you find yourself being repeatedly ghosted and then unghosted in what seems like a never-ending cycle you may have experienced breadcrumbing.

What is breadcrumbing?

It's essentially when the person you like is leaving you a trail of romantic breadcrumbs that lead to nowhere.

Like Hansel and Gretel without the big oven and witch parts.

According to one entry in Urban Dictionary, breadcrumbing happens "when the crush has no intentions of taking things further, but they like the attention.

"So they flirt here or there, send DMs/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single."

You might be in a breadcrumbing situation if you swiped right on someone, went on a date, and texted but didn’t hear back for a few days.

Then, they pop up again, you have a few great conversations, and they sink into the background. This then continues and it feels like you're stuck in the cycle.

It can happen even if you haven't met the person yet, you could be flirting over Tinder but when it comes to setting a time for a date they sidestep you.

Why do people do it?

The answer isn't cut and dry. Some people may do it intentionally, others don't even know that's what they're up to.

Some people may have a diagnosed anxiety disorder which can make the idea of meeting face-to-face overwhelming causing them to backtrack.

Others just don't know how to behave in a budding relationship due to a lack of experience.

While others could have low self-esteem and don't believe they're deserving of your attention.

There's always a possibility that the person on the other end is out to hurt you.

Signs of breadcrumbing

If you think you're being led on there are a few signs to look out for but remember someone could just have a busy schedule preventing them from constant communication.

Signs of breadcrumbing to look out for:

• A person who texts randomly or vaguely out of the blue, with no connection to what you’ve previously discussed.
• Someone who won’t share about themselves with you, though you’ve shared with them.
• They avoid committing to go on a date with you.
• A person who keeps cancelling after you’ve made plans.

Yet of course these situations are complex and if you can it's best to talk to the person directly and figure out what's going on.

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