In a new weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.
From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow one girl’s attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that she finds along the way.
Week Eighteen: Playing It Straight
The more dates that the Her.ie team go on, the more we realise that the location is absolutely crucial to whether the evening is deemed a success or a failure.
We got to thinking about this when one of our ladies was invited out on a first date recently by a Tinder beau. A first date with someone you've never met generally tends to be a drink in a bar so that both parties can kill the nerves with a drink, manufacture some witty banter with another drink and, in some cases, hope that their suitor become magically more good looking after the third.
However, this fella wanted to take our girl on a trip to Howth for a bite to eat and a stroll with his dog. A sweet suggestion but her mother's warning to never get into a car with a stranger (even if they look like James Franco) rang in her ears so the pair decided to head for the public confine of the Phoenix Park.
And guess what? A lovely day was had, the conversation managed to flow and the entire thing played out with even a swift glass of wine on the way home.
Having previously been slightly weirded out by the idea of a sober first date, this was a bit of a revelation and we're all interested to try out this new approach with our future suitors. Maybe this is where we've been going wrong and all those commitment phobias, Mammy-dependancies and cheating ways could have been spotted well in advance if we'd only avoided the Pinot Grigio?
Let us get back to you on that one!
Of course, opting for an alcohol-free date is not a guarantee of success.
Our friend James was recently delighted to secure a date with a very promising young lady and decided to pull out all the stops by heading for a fancy dinner. All went well until after the main course when she picked up her plate to lick the remaining morsels. Now we love our food as much (if not more!) than the next girl but LICKING A PLATE? That's the most disturbing use of a tongue since Miley Cyrus' antics.
Worse still, while James tried to forget this little indescretion by proceeding on to dessert and hoping she wouldn't sneak the coffee biscuits into her handbag, the conversation turned to films and the legend that is Jack Nicholson. Expect for the small and inconvenient fact that she didn't know who he was.
That was the end of the line for James, who made a swift exit following dinner and sadly 'lost' her phone number. We can't say we blame him.
But all of these disaster stories pale in comparison to an oldie but a goodie that was offered up by one of the girls in the office this week.
Her first date took place at the cinema, a place that is seen as a failsafe for the nervous couple. There's very little talking required and you're given a defined start and finish time... so what could possibly go wrong?
Well, in her case, the choice of film. On arriving at the cinema, her date was a true gentleman and asked her to choose their movie for the evening. She opted for
The 40 Year Old Virgin and had a great time laughing away to Steve Carrell's antics.
However, as the film progressed, she began to notice that her partner didn't seem to be enjoying it as much as she was. In fact, he looked distinctly uncomfortable and was barely cracking a smile, making the entire date an entirely uncomfortable experience.
Cursing her luck in a taxi on the way home, she received a text from her fella saying 'Sorry about tonight. The film was just a bit close to the bone.' In other words, no woman had yet been particularly close to his.
Though they went on another date, things didn't work out and she's never been able to watch Steve Carrell in the same away again.
And we thought finding a decent guy was the hard part!
Can you beat Her's dating disasters? We want to hear your stories! Email hello@her.ie or tweet us @Herdotie with the #shiftyfirstdates.
