Shifty First Dates – The Her.ie Guide To Dating In Ireland: Double Trouble

In a new weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland. From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow one girl’s attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that she finds along the way.

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Dating is never easy. To say I’m awkward at the prospect of sitting across from someone and dazzling them with my wit is an understatement. From trying to walk in heels (think Bambi on Ice), to ordering the messiest food in the restaurant (splashing sauce on that white dress anyone?), I’ve never been smooth. But I have always been honest. If anything, I’m probably an over-sharer. Like the time I told the guy I hadn't shaved my legs because I figured nobody would see them... that was a sure-fire way to keep the sexy atmosphere on the date. So when I found myself on an uncomfortable and unintended double-date, the fact that the woman sitting next to me was baffled by her suitor’s appearance was a bit of a concern. I was dating a new guy who had decided to surprise me after work and take me out for dinner. It was mid-week, and the idea of anything carby and loaded with sauce was clearly a winner for me. Pulling out my chair, he went to put our coats on the rack and while he was gone, a couple in their 30s were seated next to us. We did the polite smile, and nod, pretending we weren’t looking at each other or eavesdropping. Being nosy, and an old-romantic at heart, I decided to take our breaks in conversation (mainly to sip wine) to listen to the chatter on the table next to us. Usually it’s one or two sentences and I lose interest… but not on this date. Things started taking a turn for weird and crazy when the woman quite audibly asked how long ago the man had taken the photo he was using on his dating profile. To say my interest was peaked is an understatement… There was an awkward cough and he muttered something about shade and lighting… which might have worked until she replied, “But you had hair in that photo”. She’s lucky I didn’t spit out my wine. Cue a crazy amount of flustered apologies and then humming. Yes, clearly the way he was going to win her over was with some serious tune humming. Thankfully, our food came just as the awkward silence started, or I would’ve been void of entertainment for a few minutes. He started to make some ruckus over going to the toilet and that’s when it happened. Turning to us, the 'clearly bored and desperate for human interaction' lady asked if we’d mind talking to them while she finished this glass of wine. And because myself and my date were equally as awkward (thank you Irish genes), we agreed to double date on this car-crash of an evening. Sauntering back to his table, the male gentleman decided to take this opportunity to impress his new audience by telling us his father “who was an awful bastard” had left him some land and how he was richer now, but liked to keep it real. This was his way of telling his date that they were splitting the bill. After another ten minutes of conversation, where he unashamedly stared down his date’s top, she made her excuses to leave to catch the bus home. One upside from the horrendous dating experience was that my fella got a third date, mainly because I was shown the grass isn’t always greener and he hadn’t faked his picture to win me over. It also made sense to actually go on a date where I listened to HIS conversation, which unfortunately probably couldn’t compete for the entertainment factor… We want to hear your dating stories! Email us hello@herdotie or find us on Twitter @Herdotie