If you’ve ever worked a long shift behind a busy bar, you’ll understand.

For all the fun and banter you’re likely to have, every once in a while you’re bound to get those punters who assume you’re psychic, superwoman and unable to accept cash unless it’s lifted from a pool of spilled beer.  

So, we got a laugh out of this note to punters, a guide to ordering drinks. It was shared on Facebook yesterday by Killarney Grand, and attracted a chorus of agreements from men and women who have served behind the bar.

In case you can’t read the text on the picture above, it says;

WHEN ORDERING YOUR DRINKS 

• Please remember to order your drinks one at a time as we like to run backwards and forwards to keep fit. 
• When ordering a round, please make sure that you don’t know what you want; when you arrive at the bar we like to stand and wait while you nip backwards and forwards, or shout across the room to find out. 
• Once you receive two drinks please take them back to your table and stop for a quick chat before coming back to pay. We will still be waiting as we aren’t going anywhere and appreciate the time to rest. 
• Please order your Guinness last. We enjoy waiting at the bar with your other drink while it settles and we are especially pleased when we forget about it and are reminded to top it up.
• Never put money in our hands as we like to pick it up off the bar, especially if it is all in change and in a puddle of beer.
• Never say “please” or “thank you”, as it only irritates us!
• Always wait until you have been told how much your round is before asking for crisps, snacks etc. When requiring ready salted crisps, always ask for the full range of flavours before asking us for plain, it helps us to learn the stock.
• If you have been waiting at the bar for two minutes, please tell us that you have been waiting for “half an hour”. This keeps us on our toes as we have no concept of time. 

THANK YOU!