"The Referendum was an incredibly positive step in the right direction, but there is still a long way to go"

This morning, just like the old days, I woke up (late) and packed my bag and headed off to 9am assembly in my secondary school. The reason? Well, my old school, Mount Anville, is celebrating Stand Up Awareness week, which was set up by BelongTO. It’s a time for secondary school students in Ireland to take a stand against homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying. And as part of the week, the school asked LGBTQ+ past pupils to come in and chat with the students about their experiences. Cue me, Cassie, a 32-year-old gay woman, who was once a straight pupil in Mount Anville who wore too much fake tan, watched too many reality TV shows and had a rugby-playing boyfriend from Blackrock. Fourteen years on, I wear a little less fake tan, I still watch too much reality TV, but now the closest thing I would get to a rugby playing boyfriend would be a rugby playing girlfriend... Although I feel she would be disappointed at my lack of sports knowledge. Anyway, basically what I’m trying to say is I’m gay and I was in Mount A! When I was asked to be part of the assembly today I was thrilled. Thrilled that my school – a place where I spent six years, a place where I made most of my closest friends – was standing up for the LGBTQ+ community. I was greeted by one of my old teachers, Mrs Ambroise, who taught me English and Classical Studies. I was always late for both classes, but she somehow found the time to drop notes on anything I’d missed in to my grandparents' letterbox because she always wanted me to do well. She’s someone I’ll always remember from my school days because she (for some reason) believed in me. After my quick hello we went to the assembly and started our panel discussion. The idea was to be the myth busters of the gay world if you will! So here’s a condensed version of our chat:

Myth 1: All LGBTQ+ people are the same

I mean do I really have to answer this?! All humans are different, I’m pretty sure I learnt that everyone was different and everyone was special when I was three years old. The point of this was to show students that all of us gay past pupils are normal people with normal lives/jobs.

Myth 2: You know you are gay from when you’re born

Our panel all had different answers to this, some did know at an early age and some, like myself, didn’t. I was straight until I wasn’t. Now I would call myself gay, but I had no idea really when I was in my teens that I was gay – it was just as much a surprise to me as it was to my parents. I came out when I was 25, I had a very supportive group of friends and family. I was lucky, I know this isn’t the case for everyone!

Myth 3: Coming out is easy

For some yes, for some no. It’s definitely an experience. One day I hope that people won’t have to 'come out' and can just be who they are and love who they love. This is where LGBTQ+ allies come in to play; my best friends and my cousins and my sister were my strongest allies, especially when it came to 'coming out' to my parents’ generation, a generation who grew up in a different society with different beliefs. Some of the panel thought it might affect their career by 'coming out' but they soon learnt that workplaces nowadays are just as supportive as your group of friends, and are continuing to progress in that way.

Myth 4: Everybody loves labels

A good point that was raised on this topic was that yes labels are good because it gets people talking but that’s probably the only good in my opinion. Labels are a little scary for some and they were for me because when I was coming out as a lesbian I was afraid that what if I wasn’t in a few years and then I’d almost have to come out as straight. In my opinion you can love whoever you want to love, you can be a lesbian and then be straight if you want. Just be happy and love who you love. The only label you should have is your name. I don’t say I’m a lesbian, I say I’m Cassie.

Myth 5 : Now that we have marriage equality everything is fine for the LGBTQ+ community

The Referendum was an incredibly positive step in the right direction, but there is  still a long way to go. Yes, I feel safe holding my girlfriend’s hand walking down the street, yes I am happy to kiss her in public but there are still issues and rights that aren’t granted to same sex couples. When 'coming out' isn’t a thing and when people start accepting people for who they are and when everyone is equal then we’ll be in a better spot. For now I think there is still much to do which is why I think it’s important to talk about it. I think the biggest take away from today is that labels are annoying and we don’t need them. And LGBTQ+ allies are so important to the community. They can make huge change and stand up against injustices, whether towards the LGBTQ+ community or any other minority. These are the type of young women/men you should be sending out into the world. Allies for equality in every form. It was an absolute pleasure to be back in the school telling my story, so a massive thank you is due to the people who made it happen. The majority who were the room today will not ever have to “come out”, but they are important allies for their friends who might one day find themselves in a situation where they question their sexuality and need support.