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19th January 2024
05:21pm GMT
How much is too much to spend on an engagement ring? It's very much a loaded question.
The answer will vary from person to person and hinges on multiple factors, from finances to taste.
De Beers, a leading diamond company, told the world that an engagement ring should set you back two months of your salary in an advertising campaign in the 1940s.
The world took that advice as a rule, rather than an extremely clever sales hook, and somewhere along the way, it became a norm.
While everyone's budget is different, what really is the difference between a €1,000 ring and a €12,000 ring? In my opinion, just the price tag.
In today's world, where we face the impacts of a cost of living crisis and have dampened dreams of owning homes, you would think we would all collectively agree that the money could be better spent elsewhere.
Yet, in 2024, there is still the same societal pressure to deliver an expensive engagement ring, even if it delays the prospect of owning a home or buying a new car.
This made-up rule has followed us into the 21st century and, with it, has carried the huge pressure to abide by it.
With every scroll, it seems that someone new has just said 'yes' as they share their bejewelled wedding finger for the world to double-tap.
The first thing many of us will do (myself included) is zoom in immediately to get a good look at the ring.
I'm sure we've all heard the "Did you see her ring?" sentence said both with positive and negative connotations.
Not only does this add to the societal pressure on our significant others to go large when purchasing a wife-maker, but it also sets us up for disappointment if they can't afford to.
To put things into perspective, the most recent CSO report states that the median annual salary for men in Ireland is €45,537 and for women is €37,782 (that's a whole other issue).
If the average person were to fork out two months of their well-earned money for a ring, it would set them back an estimated €6,000 - €7,000.
The average rent in quarter two of 2023 was €1,574 for new tenancies, according to a Residential Tenancies Board report.
Let's assume, for argument's sake, that a couple sharing an apartment of this price splits the monthly cost, both paying €787 a month.
Each, they are paying €9,444 for the full year.
In these financially trying times, €6,000 would cover, give or take, upwards of 60 per cent of their rent costs for an entire year.
Starting to see the problem with this aesthetically pleasing societal pressure?
If your partner can afford to hand over a large chunk of change for a ring, more power to you.
If it fits into your budget, that's great.
But, if they can't, no one is going to know the difference between a €2,000 ring and an €8,000 one, and, if they do, they're not going to make a point of telling you (unless they have zero filter).
I truly believe that many of the people preparing to get down on one knee secretly wish there was a cheaper token to offer when they propose.
But, of course, society has made it the only way to pop the question.
For me, the idea that a ring's value can measure someone's love for you is, well, absolute nonsense.
While it's an important event in a person's life, and it's collectively agreed that everyone deserves an engagement ring they love, I don't think I could stand the idea of wearing thousands of euro on my finger when it could be put to use for something more important, fun, or even an emergency.
Depleting your bank account before all of the preparation and costs of a wedding and a potential home and/or kids has never made sense to me.
This is where promise rings come in as a stunning solution and one that will lift a lot of pressure off couples.
These placeholder rings have become increasingly popular with couples who want to take that next step without blowing through their savings to do it.
The idea is to purchase a lovely but modest ring and wait until they're in a financially safe spot to buy the real thing.
It also gives the person who has been asked the all-important question the opportunity to choose a ring of their choice themselves, which they'll likely opt for a more reasonably priced one upon seeing the jaw-dropping prices of rings.
An engagement ring holds a value that you cannot put a price on: sentiment, commitment, romance, and a promise.
A proposal is symbolic of a future together, let that future be debt-free.
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