Oh, hey there, hope you're having a nice day. Because I'm about to fucking ruin that nice day of yours and destroy your childhood memories.
Remember LEGO men? Put a hardhat on them and they were a builder, put a pirate hat on and they became a pirate, they came with child-friendly accessories such as guns, swords and blunt weapons. Oh.

They were great, weren't they.
Well someone thought it'd be a good idea to recreate a LEGO man in real life. It was absolutely not a good idea.
Here he is, undoubtedly muttering "killlll, meeee" under his breath.
(Image via BuzzFeed Canada/Tested)
Here he is again, whispering to himself: "I will strangle all of the children, and then I will go after the parents".
Still, even a nightmarish IRL LEGO man is preferable to Playmobil:
Someone made a video about it where you can see the terrifying fleshy bastard in action...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7KYrPXvZSM
Before you go, just imagine waking up at 2am tonight, you can sense that there's something wrong. There's a presence.
You reach to your side table, rub your eyes, blinking through the darkness you see a figure, the shadowy figure of a lifesize LEGO man. Kind of cute actually.
Then you turn the lights on.
Good day to you.