Life

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26th October 2017
08:20am BST

5. That'll go down into your chest now if you're not careful.
6. A night out? When you're here dying sick with a cold? More the fool you.
7. Didn't I warn you it wasn't warm enough to be wearing that skimpy jumper.
8. I won't be putting on the heating just because you're cold. Have you any idea how much it's costing us?
9. Your father rang, said you should listen to Coldplay, haha!
10. Have you taken anything? Have another Lemsip.
11. Don't use all them tissues, we'll have none left.
12. There's flat 7 Up in the kitchen, you may go down and get it yourself.
13. This is what you get for going to bed with a wet head last week.
14. I'm not buying those Actimels anymore because they're obviously a load of shite.
15. Get plenty of fluids into you now.
16. I'm going getting this house checked for draughts because this is why you're always sniffling.
17. Maybe if you weren't going out with bare legs in APRIL you wouldn't have this problem.
18. A cup of tea? And specifically WHAT did your last slave die of?
19. Put that Vicks on your feet now before you go to bed.
20. I have no sympathy for you, so you can stop feeling sorry for yourself.
21. Hang on a second. You'd wonder, if you can get a cold, why can't you get a WARM?