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Congratulations!

The two of you have put a ring on it and it’s officially you (plural) against the world forever. It’s romantic, it’s emotional and it’s a very special time in a lady’s life. Mostly. Here are the 10 things that happen when you get engaged. You enter the bubble The bubble may be the best bit of the whole thing. If you can bear it not to pick up the phone and start screaming happily at most of your loved ones (and angrily at one or two – SEE, AUNT MARY?! I’M NOT ON THE SHELF!), that magical period where you’re the only two who know is something very special indeed. Soak it up… because then comes the ringaround. You share the news Phone calls are made in order of importance. Then it’s group texts. Maybe some WhatsApp messages. All against the clock before one feckin eejit spoils it by beating you to Facebook and leaving 12 friends seriously thick that you didn’t tell them first. You no longer know the answer to anything You can share the details of how it happened 25 times in a row, no problem. But when the questions about what happens next begin, bow out. Where/when/how many bridesmaids/what reflection/who’s the priest… people won’t give you a chance to breathe before hitting you with every interrogative known to man. You will spend an inordinate amount of time staring at your left hand Size, shape, style – no matter. Whatever the rock you’re rocking, it’s yours. And it signifies that at least one person in the world thinks you’re so bloody brilliant they would like to spend every single day of forever with you, thank you very much indeed. You begin to evaluate your friendships Because this process will have a direct impact on their role in the big day. Who will really be able to convey the meaning of that lovely letter St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians? Maybe Sarah. She’s always been there for you. Side note: Did St. Paul EVER get a letter back from the Corinthians? You will realise the word “fiancé” is weird And there are feck all alternatives. Hubby-to-be sounds a bit smug, boyfriend doesn’t make sense anymore… that’s it – he’s to be known as Himself until you put the (second) ring on it. Every song will be evaluated For its place on the wedding day. Could it be entrance music? First dance? For your list to give the DJ (the DJ hates those lists by the way, picking the music is his/her *job*). If it could make someone cry, it’s on the list. You make plans for the mother of all diets and fitness regimes You’ll be in the best shape of your life! But planning is hungry work, so… pizza maybe?! You realise that everyone is an expert When it comes to ruling things out. That place? No. I heard from a friend’s niece’s cousin-in-law that the food wasn’t great. That band? No. My hairdresser’s father’s colleague’s daughter said they didn’t even know the words to Wagon Wheel. You realise just how broke you are Dream world: I’ll wear Vera Wang and Jimmy Choo shoes. I’ll carry rare orchids and we’ll party the night away in a five-star castle to the strains of an eight-piece brass band. Real world: After you’ve checked the prices: I have three euros and 67 cent in my current account. How much does it cost to elope to Vegas? “All you need is love. And a winning lottery ticket.” This article is brought to you by Clonfolic.