So you’re watching a romantic comedy or drama and all of a sudden the girl who’s sitting on a plane realises that she loves the guy who hid the fact that he’s a bit of a jerk, and only got to know her because of a bet, and they reunite before kissing in the rain and living happily ever after.

Exactly. That is never going to happen. We know it. You know it. Even they know it.

Here are some other romantic film clichés that just wouldn’t happen in reality.

1. He will not build you a house

Sure he might buy a house or help with the design of a new one but he will not build a house with his bare hands. And to be honest we doubt, perfect as he may be, that even Ryan Gosling would be able to build a house by himself.

2. He will not stop the plane

Yea, there’s this thing called airport security.

3. The first time you have sex won’t be amazing

We’re not being crude but it will probably be a bit uncomfortable and in a bed as opposed to a swimming pool (which, based on the world of film, is one of the easiest places to break into).

 

4. You will not run out on your wedding day

After all that planning and in front of all those guests, there’s no chance.

5. There will be no romantic kiss in the rain

Because you’ll be too busy running for shelter and cursing the Irish weather. If you do stop for a quick snog, which you really won’t, chances are you’ll wake up with a cold the next day. Not so romantic now is it?

6. There will be no dance number

Why would there be?

7. There will be no grand declaration of love of PDA

At the most you’ll get a cheeky text or will hear the words ‘how about it?’ whispered to you. There will be no song at your window, declaration of love on a crowded street or steamy kiss in the coffee shop after a massive fight.

8. You will not get away with pretending to be someone else

Yea, it’s called trust and it’s kind of important for a relationship.

9. He’s talking about you at the exact same time you’re talking about him

You might be talking about him in detail over a cuppa (note, not in the middle of a yoga class or over cocktails) but chances are he’s eating, talking about the footie or thinking about sex (not necessarily with you because it’s too soon for that).

10. People don’t change

There will be no dramatic transformation (on either side) and if you didn’t like him before, you’re certainly not going to fall head over heels in love with him within two weeks.