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Published 20:00 12 Feb 2015 GMT
Updated 15:36 12 Feb 2015 GMT

4. All the cards are WAY too soppy
Who has time to read all those verses? More importantly, who can stomach them?
5. This is my (insert number here) Valentine’s Day on my own
In response, friend in a relationship says...
6. I know a guy I can set you up with for next year
He'd need to be the type that likes Valentine's Day.
7. No cards?
No. Nobody loves me.
8. I got flowers and chocolates
You don't say!
9. Oh you really shouldn’t have
We'd love to have see the reaction if they hadn't.
10. I love you
Cheesy but necessary. (Unless of course you've only been dating for a few weeks.)

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