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Published 22:31 1 Mar 2016 GMT
Updated 10:17 18 Feb 2022 GMT

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And yet it still boggles people's minds when I let them in on my (not-so dirty) little secret.
Birth brings out the animal in me; and it is a feeling I shamelessly indulge. It can only be described as a lioness coming out of her cave - sexy, strong, capable, warm. My second baby's birth was remarkably more empowering then then my first. Firstly, I labored in the comfort of our home, with the people I love most. Secondly, because of the privacy, support, and love I felt wrapped in, my surges felt COMPLETELY different. They were intense, yes. But the wildness of them felt...electric. Sensual. Powerful. I remember one moment very vividly. As I neared transition (9-10 cm), I felt incredibly fragile, hopeless, and overwhelmed. (Transition can be such a fickle bitch!) Masturbation made the MOST sense to me as I labored through my surges. I remember my husband saying, 'Would you like to have sex?' And although I couldn't commit to sex in the moment, he must have read my mind! Clitoral stimulation worked an absolute TREAT. It shifted my focus to my vagina, to the energy brewing within me. It made me feel connected, and made me feel like I had some control over what I was feeling. The surges were much more manageable, and the rest between them was so much more enjoyable. If I close my eyes now, I am taken back to that place. The hot water on my back, my husband's hands locked in mine, the safety of his presence, the happiness as I rode those wild waves. Orgasmic in a sexual way - no. Pleasure - YES. It was my glorious instinctual pain-relief system coming to life! I am so proud of myself for exploring an avenue so typically shamed.
For as far back as scientific, biblical, or medicine based text exist, birth has always been spoken about as something to 'endure'; pain as punishment for eating the apple off that damn tree. To boot, many people feel very uncomfortable with the idea of pleasure in childbirth. And hey, I get it. For some, It's a pretty big idea that takes us way out of our comfort zones.
Debra Pascali-Bonaro, pioneer and crusader for orgasmic birth, says, "It's such a culture where some women actually feel shamed that they have pleasure, because the expectation is pain," Pascali-Bonaro said. "We have to change that."
The good news is if you've made it this far, you're at the very least, intrigued. Here are a few enticing reasons to take the shame out of pleasure, and put the sex back into childbirth!
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