Reached the last layer of the last tin of Chocolate Kimberleys yet? Devoured your final turkey and roast potato sandwich?
It's that time of year again (the beginning!) and let's face it, if you're not feeling at least a niggle of regret about the calories consumed, you probably didn't enjoy yourself as much as the rest of us
This slimmer's version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas always makes us giggle, but it has the dual effect of reminding us that we're all in this together.
Now, where did we put that yoga mat?
"Twas the week after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled,
the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties,
had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales,
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store,
(less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous,
meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces,
and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said,
"No, thank you, please."
As I dressed myself,
in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again,
to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself,
as I only can
"You can spend a winter
disguised as a man!"
So-away with the last,
of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food,
that I like must be banished
Till all the additional,
ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie,
not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew,
on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits,,
or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot,
and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
and life is a bore-
But isn't that what,
January is for?
Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all,
and to all a good diet!
-Author unknown
