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17th July 2013
05:35pm BST

Do you ever find yourself screaming at the screen when you’re watching a horror film? You’re not the only ones.
In fact we thought that people would have learned by now that there are just certain things you don’t do if you want to survive.
With that in mind, we’ve come up with a list of lessons we’ve learnt from watching scary movies over the years...
1. Strange noises are strange for a reason – You hear a strange noise, you should lock yourself in your room and call for help. It’s not going to be a playful kitten or the pipes, it’s most likely going to be an axe-wielding psychopath or a demon from another world.
2. Running upstairs is just asking for trouble – How do you think that is going to help you get away?
3. Don’t buy creepy toys – Whoever thought Chuckie looked like a nice toy for a child is mental. Let this be a lesson, dolls and other creepy-looking toys are evil and should be left on the shelf.

4. Shortcuts won’t get you anywhere – Except maybe tied up in the basement of some crazy person.
5. Hitchhikers are not good passengers – Especially on a stormy night.
6. Never split up – Terrible idea.
7. Don’t answer the door – If you’re not expecting company, keep all doors and windows locked. If you do answer the door and there’s nobody there, then it’s too late.
8. Haunted houses do not make good family homes – If the letting agent doesn’t tell you why the past owners moved out, it’s because they have been possessed or are the ones doing the possessing. Also, it is possible to move out of a house.
9. Keep shooting/ stabbing/ hitting the bad guy – No they’re not dead yet and you definitely shouldn’t go over and try to nudge them with your foot. Rookie mistake.
10. Don’t open strange boxes – Firstly, it doesn’t belong to you. Secondly, it probably contains an evil spirit or something belonging to an evil spirit. Yea, good luck with that!
11. Avoid testing theories – You will be proven right.
12. Never say “I’ll be right back” – You won’t.
13. Avoid reading ancient texts about demons and the likes – How do you think they get into this world in the first place?
14. Never ask “who’s there?” or similar phrases – Not only is it a stupid question but it’s one you don’t want answered and it gives away your position. You may as well say “here I am, come and get me.”
15. Ouiga boards are not fun – You’d think this was sort of self-explanatory.
16. All children are evil – You might think we’re exaggerating but we’re really not.
17. Fill the car with fuel – It’s common sense people.
18. Always charge your telephone and use a good network – Seriously, you’re going to drive through the night and you’re not going to charge your phone? Idiot.
19. Avoid wooded areas – Too many places to hide and too many branches to break.
20. Mirrors are not good – During the day is usually okay but at night, it’s a definite no and you can forget opening the mirrored cupboard!
21. You can and should do things during the day – Leaving everything until it’s dark outside is counter-productive and increases your risk of something bad happening. Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
22. Never go into the basement or attic – Do we really have to say why?
23. If those around you start acting strangely, run – Crazy eyes, foaming at the mouth, shaking and hissing are all signs you need to get away from or kill that person.
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