In case you hadn't noticed, we watch a hell of a lot of films about American life, particularly about experiences at college, or Uni as they say. However, let us be clear here, your college life will be nothing like that portrayed in the movies. Here are ten things that will not happen (we admit, sometimes, occasionally, it does).

1. You''ll find the man of dreams.

Sometimes, you will. More often than not, you will date a fellow student for a while and then run away when you sober up.

2. You'll do nothing but attend parties.

Yes, in first year. After that, it's just general panic.

3. You will have a lecturer that will change your life.

No, you won't. They won't even know who you are. Unless you are a born genius.

4. You will have a crazy roommate that you will grow to love.

More than likely, if you have a roommate you don't like, you will move out before things get nasty.

5. The Library is the best place ever.

Tell that to the students queueing outside just before the exams.

6. Nobody Sleeps

With all the partying, you just don't have the time to sleep.. for basically about three to four years.

7. You can't wait to be away from your parents.

Sure, for about two weeks then you will crawl home on your knees crying and begging your mother to wash your clothes and cook your dinner.

8. You will take an amazing Road Trip.

No one has cars in college. You can't afford them. You need to save the money for drinking.

9. You will have loads of sex.

If you are lucky, you will have loads of sex. More than likely, you will just have some sex.

10. You will find yourself.

Not really. Some of us left college more confused than when we began. It's lies really.

It's all lies!