It's common knowledge that anyone without a symmetrical face is garbage.
You can't be a celebrity unless you have a symmetrical face, that is a rule that appears in the World Rules Book, I have checked. Nobody would think twice about purchasing your album or attending your concert if you look like a Picasso painting, because we are all shallow degenerates.
I really feel for the few celebrities that haven't got perfectly symmetrical faces, so I've devoted some time to fixing them. You're welcome, celebs.
Symmetrical Dr. Phil looks like the guidance counsellor that tried to convince everyone to get into teaching because that's where all the jobs were.
Symmetrical Martine McCutcheon looks like your friend's Mam who always has a glass of wine with you during pre-drinks because she considers herself one of the gang.
Symmetrical Ryan Gosling looks like the lad that wears jeans and brown shoes on a night out and refuses to shift anyone because he's selfishly had a girlfriend for the past 21 years.
Symmetrical Will Smith looks like the full forward on the local rugby team, who once got in trouble with the Gardaí but won't tell anyone what happened.
Symmetrical Dean Gaffney looks like a rambunctious youth that guzzles cans of coke on the bus at 8.30am, on the way to his scheduled appointment to loiter outside a shop.
Symmetrical Ed Sheeran looks like the guy that tells you to cheer up when you're caught not smiling in any social situation, then asks for your number.
Symmetrical Harry Styles looks like the lad from home that went out with a beauty blogger for ten minutes and was photographed and put on an Irish gals' website as a result.
Symmetrical Daniel O'Donnell looks like a Government minister that reduced the cost of petrol for a week in 1996 and hasn't let anyone forget about it since.
Symmetrical Michael D. Higgins looks like the local priest that is always out of breath for some reason, but does a very quick mass of a Sunday morning and always drops a sporting reference in the gospel.
She confirmed that she’s split from her fiancé Jesy Nelson has spoken out on her breakup from her fiancé Zion Foster, whom she split with after four years together. The former Little Mix star got engaged to Foster in September, but a source revealed to The Sun last month that the pair had split and […]
Such a loss. The legendary Catherine O’Hara had sadly died at the age of 71. O’Hara was perhaps best known for her role in the first two Home Alone films as Macaulay Culkin’s mother. She also appeared in over 80 episodes of Schitt’s Creek. Macaulay Culkin paid tribute to O’Hara on Instagram, writing: “Mama. I […]
Heartbreaking news just in The legendary actress Catherine O’Hara has sadly died at the age of 71. O’Hara was perhaps best known for her role in the first two Home Alone films as Macaulay Culkin’s mother, Kate McCallister. She also appeared in over 80 episodes of Schitt’s Creek. TMZ reports that the actress died today, […]
