♫ It’s the most passive-aggressive time of the year ♫ Christmas is a wonderful time that you get to share with friends, family and loved ones. However, the increased time spent together results in the likelihood of noticing things that irritate you about these folk. Why does your sister scrape the cutlery off her teeth when she’s […]

9 years ago

‘Kanye West’s emergency call to 911 has been released’. That sentence is easily the most repulsive form of clickbait circulating the internet today, and it’s also inaccurate. It was actually Kanye’s personal Doctor that had to make the phone call, which it’s safe to assume was also highly unlikely ‘released’, as opposed to ‘acquired’. The audio was […]

9 years ago

This is a breaking news story. Reports have emerged today that a woman in her late twenties is still using ‘sleeps’ as a method of time measurement. Sarah Smith from Lucan was overheard announcing to her workmates that it’s only 24 sleeps to Christmas. Her colleague, who wishes to remain unnamed, got in touch to […]

9 years ago

More like the COY show, because the children are so shy. The Toy Show is on tomorrow night and as a result, the Taoiseach has declared it a national holiday for all. Simply take the day off work and when your employer calls, tell them Her.ie said it’s grand. Everyone falls victim to having inappropriate thoughts […]

9 years ago

We get it, you’re hot. The Victoria’s Secret annual fashion show took place last night, where lots of really attractive girls walked up and down a stage for a very large sum of money. People lose their reason over these blatantly inhuman specimens and their gift from God bodies. It’s their job to look that […]

9 years ago

There’s no ‘U’ in favourite, unless you’re outside America. Few things in life are more important than being your parents’ favourite child. Sometimes you’re born the favourite, or simply weasel your way into their hearts due to a series of disgraceful behaviours exhibited by your sibling(s). It’s quite easy to spot whether you’re the favourite […]

9 years ago

Twitter is life. Folks, it’s been another strong month on Twitter. Users have surpassed themselves in terms of making me exhale rapidly from my nose, somewhat resembling amusement. November’s best tweets covered topics such as wedding vows, iCarly, Martine McCutcheon’s lies and Beatles concerts. Here’s 35 of the funniest tweets you might’ve scrolled past this month. […]

9 years ago

It’s very likely that they will call him Emma. Today, the bad boy of the Dáil will head over to America for a three-day visit. It’s been reported that he will visit Silicon Valley and New York. However, this has since proven to be false, as the Taoiseach’s itinerary has leaked. Instead, it appears that Enda Kenny […]

9 years ago

Google, am I right? They say a child asks roughly 400 questions per day, while a grown adult Googles upwards of 5,000 stupid things each day. So who’s the real winner here? Internet service providers, probably. Lookit, there’s no shame in it. Sometimes the quickest way to get a fairly accurate answer is by leaving it at the hands […]

9 years ago

Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since I last made blasphemous content. There’s a strong link between the church and aptly named state in Ireland. Being the big cool modern society that we are, we continue to allow our country’s laws to be heavily influenced by a magic book that was […]

9 years ago

This is a breaking news story. Earlier today, it was announced that local woman, Aoife Reilly, has finally reached a decision as to what she will be wearing to her upcoming work Christmas party. She released a much anticipated statement via a press conference this morning at 9am local time. The information given was as […]

9 years ago

Earlier today, Enda Kenny met with Pope Francis. They discussed many things, which ultimately ended in Pope Frano announcing that he’s coming to Ireland not this August now but the following one. An insider bugged the room in the Vatican where the two heavyweights of the Catholic world met, and has sent us the transcript. As […]

9 years ago

Texting is a gift. By now, it should be public knowledge that phone calls are no longer to take place because they are awkward, require a large amount of effort and horse into phone batteries like it’s nobody’s business. Regardless, there’s a beautiful bond between best friends that simply cannot be broken. Every minute detail […]

9 years ago

Magic is real. Ireland is really small as we all know, there’s roughly two degrees of separation between all of us. There’s also about seven names going around in rotation between us, with a few flamboyant and exotic ones thrown in for good measure. I’ve put together the most common first names for females in […]

9 years ago

When you reach the age of 18, you should be calling it a horsetail, legally. Much like your choice of car, handbag, Facebook profile picture, piercing and phone cover, you can tell a lot about a person based on the height of their ponytail. There’s a large amount of science gone into this study. At least […]

9 years ago

Memes are life. I’m A Celeb is back on the telly and this comes as terrific news if you are indeed a fan of reality television and watching other people having the absolute worst time. My favourite part of the show is when it ends. My second favourite part is pausing the telly at the exact […]

9 years ago

This is tough and I’m sorry. Would You Rather is very high up in the top ten games to play when you’re stuck in any brain meltingly boring situation, like work! It pits your brain against itself and forces you to take a long, hard look at all of your life choices leading up to that […]

9 years ago

This is a breaking news story. Met Éireann has today, 17th November, upgraded Ireland’s weather warning status to BITTERLY. It’s a status blue weather warning, meaning that anyone with an ounce of cop on should stay indoors and avoid even so much as looking out at that cold. Met Éireann are urging members of the […]

9 years ago

WEATHER! Between us, we all sent and received precisely 25 billion Snapchats here in Ireland this morning due to a perfectly normal bout of weather for this time of year. Poor quality photography didn’t stand in our way, as we all sent shoddy pictures to the entirety of our friend list and beyond. Here’s 8 stunning […]

9 years ago

Rid that mood with a Snood™! Let me set the scene: You’re going about your business when BANG, out of nowhere, a bad mood happens upon you. There’s little you can do to resist its powers, rendering yourself useless as you succumb to the inevitable sulk. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot you can do to pull […]

9 years ago

Knickers, am I right? Folks, there’s little funnier than referring to a singular pair of underwear as ‘a knickers’. I cannot explain the science behind it, you just need to trust me on this one. Anyway, someone decided at a certain point in history that we all need to wear knickers and to be honest, […]

9 years ago

Oh Alice! The Brady Bunch Movie is a serious piece of cinematography and was very harshly snubbed at the Oscars in 1995. What even won best picture? According to the internet, it was Forrest Gump. Sorry, never heard of it mate. While I have a deep admiration and respect for TBBM, I also can’t help but feel […]

9 years ago

Melania, babe. We feel you. *Quick reminder that Donald J. Trump will be the next President of the United States* Listen, at the end of the day, life goes on. Relatable memes need to be made and I need to stay in employment. Sometimes, based on nothing other than her facial expressions, I feel like […]

9 years ago

My wedding vows will be ‘I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family’. Barney was an integral part of many of our childhoods. As my Mam insists on reminding me roughly twice a week, I was unhappy about starting school because it meant I would miss watching Barney every day. Utterly livid with […]

9 years ago

The only thing worse than a full time bad bastard is a part time mad bastard. Folks, mad bastards walk among us. They are just like you and I, except they might hold off paying their television licence until the last minute, or even eat a yoghurt two days after the expiry date. If you’re […]

9 years ago

Charming Potato. It’s important that we, as a nation, acknowledge that Channing Tatum is a fine looking specimen. It’s quite often assumed that that goes without saying, but I’d just prefer if we all took a little time out of our day to share our combined deep appreciation for him. As we’ve learned with Zac […]

9 years ago

It is said to be the largest moon in 69 years (lol grow up). A supermoon is the coincidence of a full moon or a bew moon with the closest approach the moon makes to the Earth on its elliptical orbit, resulting in the largest apparent size of the lunar disk as seen from Earth, […]

9 years ago

So this is really happening then. Since Donald Trump’s election as President of the United States of America (a sentence I never thought I’d write), the reality of his new role is slowly starting to hit him. Reportedly, The Donald has been frantically Googling things, staying up all night and panic eating a lot of […]

9 years ago

“I feel like Anne Frank (although I’m willingly sharing my diary)

9 years ago

Cá bhfuil mo dheinims dubha agus m’Umbro top? As we’ve seen with puns and celebrity names, things are significantly more entertaining when you (poorly) translate them to Irish. My latest venture is to reenact the Leaving Cert tape test, where they would either translate a band name to Irish, or power ahead with the very jarring […]

9 years ago

Listen, we’re all a bit basic. Extensive scientific research has shown that there is a direct correlation between your name and the likelihood of you being a basic little betch. I’ve compiled a list of the most basic female names currently in circulation. If your name, or the name of a loved one appears on […]

9 years ago

Damn family, back at it again with the WhatsApp Group. It’s common knowledge that Irish family WhatsApp groups are gas. Dad sees it as his own personal stand up comedy performance, Mam is baffled at just about everything, while you’re simply trying to get vital information regarding who’s the latest to have died down the road. […]

9 years ago

Is your Spanish baby 2 or is it a dose? Folks, there is simply nothing worse than being a dose. In a game of Would You Rather, there is very little I wouldn’t pick over being a dose. Unfortunately, 1 in every 7 people is said to be a dose. That figure is on the […]

9 years ago

Obama loves Biden his time. It’s common knowledge that Obama’s greatest success as the President of the United States is his adorable bromance with Joe Biden. They’re thick as thieves and I will never tire of seeing the two divils giggling together. Their friendship needs to be celebrated and possibly turned into a movie directed […]

9 years ago

#StillWithHer In light of Hillary Clinton’s defeat to Donald Trump, some of her allegedly controversial personal emails have been leaked to us by an anonymous source. As expected, they contain f**k all to do with anything shady and instead show a typical Mam going about her typical Mam-related business. These were sent to us from […]

9 years ago

It’s the end of the world. Genuinely everything is awful today and there’s no point in pretending that it isn’t. Let’s just wallow in the sadness, go asleep tonight and wake up tomorrow with a view to getting through this all together. Luckily, there’s 5 very fun things you can do to distract yourself from […]

9 years ago

WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Everything is ruined and America has made an absolute show of itself. There’s literally nothing funny about this situation. It’s utterly tragic and depressing and worrying. But, if we don’t laugh, we will retreat to our beds until further notice, and that’s no good. So, here’s 8 people we’d sooner put in charge […]

9 years ago

This is definitely real. With the voting well underway in the U.S., it’s not unreasonable to assume that things between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are quite heated at present. This entire situation is more intense than the Gareth Gates vs Will Young Pop Idol battle of 2002. An anonymous source has leaked text messages […]

9 years ago

Paisean Faisean was lit. Who knew that such a simple format of men buying outfits for women could result in the most gripping Irish television programme of the early 2000s. Ne’er a day went by that I wasn’t glued to TG4 to see what unlikely lads had volunteered to make a holy show of themselves […]

9 years ago

Lads, me nerves. Despite all of us saying roughly three times a day “Ah no, he can’t actually win though”, there’s still a very real chance that Donald lunatic Trump could become the next president of the United States of America. While most of us are hoping that common sense will prevail, let’s cast our […]

9 years ago

Ugga Bugga! If your childhood wasn’t filled with fighting to the death against your siblings over whose turn it was to play Crash Team Racing, you haven’t had an authentic upbringing and you’re going to need to speak with your parents about that. I often wonder what happened to Crash and the gang. Did their competitive natures […]

9 years ago

Feels like we only just put away the EMAs decorations and now they’re back out again. As with any awards ceremony, people do their absolute best to look fancy and respectable for the occasion. They spend anything up to ten years getting ready for the big night, employing countless staff to aid their pursuit of […]

9 years ago

Wet November is significantly more fun. A lot of people embark on their personal Everest during November, by giving up alcoholic beverages. It’s a valiant, selfless and admirable act, the likes of which we’re increasingly unlikely to see repeated in this day and age. While we’re under no illusion that it’s a testing time for those […]

9 years ago

I am in love with Barack Obama. He is the father I always wanted (sorry Dad, you’re good too) and I am eternally upset that he was never my President (sorry Michael D. Higgins, you’re good too). When he finishes his term as POTUS, I propose that we have a national day of mourning here […]

9 years ago

Twitter is life. At a rough estimate, there’s well over 200 hundred people on Twitter currently. Celebrities sometimes use it to connect with their fans, but mostly just to promote their stuff. A lot of celebrities have quite pretentious Twitter bios, so I’ve taken the liberty of diluting the bullshit and giving them an accurate […]

9 years ago

Is it really better to be a moist shite though? Listen, everyone has a small element of dry shite in them and it’s absolutely fine. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that enough is enough and you simply will not be doing a damn thing for the next 6-8 months. Unfortunately, it’s possible that you can […]

9 years ago

Beauty and the Beast? More like Beauty and the Feast your eyes on this pack of lies. Watching the film through childhood eyes was magical. But if you revisit the classic today, it becomes very apparent that we were lied to, time and time again. There wouldn’t be a sniff of a similar story happening today. There’s […]

9 years ago

Names, am I right? They’re important as they help us tell the difference between each other and also provide excellent grounds for making up nicknames e.g. if your name is Billy and you are sometimes a bit silly, people will likely call you A DOPE. I’ve poorly translated some celebrities’ names to their Irish version. […]

9 years ago

Doodle-do-do *click click* The Addams Family is a wonderfully heartwarming tale of feuding families, excessive greed and bizarre lifestyle choices. I often wonder what some of my favourite films would be like if they were set in Ireland. For example, the story of Romeo and Juliet would be called Patrick and Niamh and they would […]

9 years ago

The Irish for Justin Bieber is probably Siustín Beibéar. As we know, the Biebs is in town and with that, he’s brought all of his notions in tow. I’m not interested in how many stewards he’s spat at, or how he refused to thank the man in the bathroom that handed him a tissue. I want […]

9 years ago